What If You Couldn’t Disappoint Your Horse?

By Alejandra González

So many riders tell me the same thing in different words:

“I don’t want to disappoint my horse.”

And it’s true — we care deeply about being good partners for them.

We want to communicate clearly, to ride softly, to honor the trust they place in us.

But sometimes, hidden inside that fear, there’s another one:

The fear of disappointing ourselves.

What Fear Does in the Saddle

Fear changes the story we tell ourselves — and the story we tell our horse.

Instead of, “We’re learning together,” fear whispers, “Don’t make a mistake.”

Instead of, “Trust the process,” fear insists, “You’re not enough.”

Horses don’t understand those words, but they feel the shift:

• The hesitation in your timing.

• The stiffness in your body.

• The inconsistency in your aids.

And suddenly, what could have been curiosity turns into confusion.

What could have been flow turns into resistance.

What Horses Really Need

Horses don’t ask us for perfection.

What they need most is consistency in our energy.

They feel safest when our signals aren’t clouded by doubt, guilt, or fear.

When you let go of the pressure to “always get it right,” your horse feels a steadier version of you:

• Your breath flows more freely.

• Your seat follows with softness.

• Your requests carry clarity instead of tension.

In that state, your horse doesn’t feel the weight of your fear — they feel the lightness of your intention.

Releasing the Fear

So… what if you couldn’t disappoint your horse?

What if the only thing they needed was your presence — not your perfection?

What if every mistake was simply part of the conversation, not proof that you’re failing?

Because when you release the fear of disappointing them, you also release the fear of disappointing yourself.

And in that space, connection grows.

A question for you:

How would your riding — and your choices — change if you believed you could never truly disappoint your horse?

With love and awareness,

Ale